Reversing the Motherhood Penalty
In 2008, I was preparing to come back to work after the birth of my son, and I was terrified. Terrified I would somehow harm my child by dropping him off at day care. Terrified he’d forget me. Worried about my ability to juggle my job at work with this new important job at home. Worried that sleep deprivation would last forever.
One thing I didn’t have to worry about? Advancing in my career.
My manager, who supported my need to take time away, also championed my continued growth at the company. After taking four months of maternity leave, I returned not just to my job, but soon to a more prestigious and bigger role — within a few weeks of returning, I was promoted to vice president. My manager wasn’t fazed by my leave or new status as a mom, and he was confident in my ability to succeed because of my work and drive.
I always knew a story like this was kind of rare, but I didn’t realize how rare until I read this powerful piece in The New York Times recently about the pervasive bias that exists in corporate America against mothers. Simply put, women with children tend to make less money and receive fewer promotions.
Here are the facts:
- In a Harvard study, women with children were rated as 10 percent less competent and were eight times less likely to be recommended for a promotion than women without children.
- Research shows that being a mother reduces the chance of a job offer by 37 percent. This bias doesn’t affect fathers.
- When mothers are hired, their pay decreases 4 percent with each child they bear, while men’s earnings tend to increase by 6 percent.
- Women without children earn 96 cents for every dollar a man earns, but married mothers earn 76 cents on the dollar.
- On average, working mothers in the U.S. take home $1,278 less each month than women without children. This is even more troubling when you consider the rising cost of child care.
These sobering facts reflect what experts call the “motherhood penalty.” Bias against mothers isn’t just the result of a few bad managers; it’s widespread and has real economic consequences for women and families. While not all women will receive a promotion after returning from leave, all mothers deserve to feel empowered to return to work, and not to have their careers or earnings suffer. What made my experience different from so many others? And how do we ensure more mothers have experiences like mine?
First, it starts with managers acting as allies. My manager (Spencer Rascoff, who is now CEO of Zillow Group) took an active role in growing my career. At the time, Zillow was a young, lean startup running at an extremely fast pace, and it must have been stressful to lose a valued employee for months. But he took the long-term view on my value and didn’t view parenthood as a “hurdle” to overcome.
Second — and this is important — managers need to be aware of the biases they bring to the table. Spencer didn’t show any bias in choosing when or how to promote me, but that’s unusual. As managers, we need to ask ourselves in annual reviews and everyday interactions if we’re applying the same lens of performance and opportunity to all of our team members. We can also learn about and confront our own biases through unconscious bias training. (If your company doesn’t offer it, request it! Or take an online course.)
Third, companies need to step up to the plate. I was lucky to work for a company that allowed me to take the time I needed and supported me when I returned, but that’s not the norm. As leaders, we should provide family-friendly benefits and train our managers to actively discuss career development with all our employees. We should also examine our company culture and ask if we’re allowing space for employees to bring their identity as a parent to work — and occasionally duck out early for things like a kid’s doctor appointment or a parent-teacher conference.
A few years after that first experience, I had my second child, a girl. Again, I took several months off. And this time, I wasn’t promoted when I returned. Instead, I was promoted to a broader position while I was still on maternity leave. The timing was right because of our business needs and the results I delivered, and once again Spencer applied the same lens to me as he did to other employees.
As a manager or leader, I encourage you to ask yourself: Would you have done this?
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